Lesson 4: Don’t be quick to judge

Happy New Year everyone! I hope all of you welcomed 2018 with a big bang and a list of resolutions to keep up with for this year. Well I did too for the first time! It has been an amazing journey and I think its time to share my next lesson: don’t be quick to judge anyone because we do not know the reality, the truth. What we think is the truth is just our assumptions based on what we see, hear and feel.

The end of 2017 was magnificent. I thoroughly enjoyed every lesson that I have had learned. But the most valuable one for me is this. I try my best to put it into practice everyday and every minute. Never be quick to judge. I am going to explain this with a real life incident. I was on a domestic plane. I was seated in the middle. On my right was this older lady and on my left was this older gentleman. Throughout the journey all three of us were quiet. We barely said much except when I needed to go to the toilet.

The lady on my right didn’t say much and she kept to herself mostly. And I am going to stop right there. Yep at that moment most of us, would have made many judgements about her and why she wasn’t interacting much. In my experience of flying I have met some interesting people and I never had anyone sit next to me and not talk. So this was unusual. I was like in my head, “oh maybe she is racist, or she thinks I can’t speak english or she is anti-social”. Then I told myself, “hang on a sec, you do not know this person from a bar of soap, and all your opinions about her is based on your own social conditioning and experiences. So its not fair”. I relaxed knowing that I do not know the reality. With less than an hour to go before landing, she started talking. During our conversation she mentioned she went to Adelaide because her mum had passed away.

Here we go, all that assumptions, judgements and opinions which I had before, like I said, wasn’t the truth. In fact they didn’t even come close to the truth. We had a good chat. We also started talking to the gentleman next to me. We are so quick to assess and form opinions about a person or a situation. For instance the driver in front of us who is driving slowly, could be actually sick and is taking his or her time to drive. Or that person in the lift who saw you coming but didn’t wait, could have been in a real rush to get somewhere. Or even that girl or guy who gives you that stare while you are in a supermarket, could be feeling insecure about themselves or could be trying to assess you like everyone else to see if you are a threat to them. That is just our animalistic behaviour and we can’t do much about it. Offer them understanding and tell ourselves quietly “I do not know the reality, I do not know the truth as to why this person is staring at me”.

Someone once said to me “I don’t trust anyone anymore. Don’t contact me again”. I just wish I could say to this person that if they stop believing in the stories that their mind tells them and accept the fact that they do not know the reality, then it might be easier to start trusting and not shut people off. Thanks for reading. Once again Happy New Year and may love and light always be with you xx.

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